Great Covenant Book of Jokes/Archive 4
Great Covenant Book of Jokes/Archive 4 Jokes Truth: Hey Cortana Cortana: What? Truth: You were so fat, that when you were downloaded into a computer with 9999999 gigabytes, you took up all the space! Cortana: *Turns Orange-Red* Truth: You were so fat, that you caused Master Queef's MJOLNIR systems to fail! coughwheezeblahheheheheheheblehslehbuahghlolhalolol Cortana:'' *Turns from dark-red to crimson*'' Truth: Uh-oh... Cortana takes control of 998278235627360999923736627 plasma torpedo cannons, blows him up with it, tears off his testical chin, and orders Master Chief to blow him up with 992999999277823566356 rockets and 99999999999999999999999 Spartan Lazah shotz. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Brutes are so fat, that they need jetpacks to jump!! ROFLKNIFESLIECSLIECLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Jump Pack Brute shoves Truth's head into the hole of the Jump Jet Pack and turns it on, making Truth fly and incinerate at the same time. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Master Queef is so fat, the only reason everyone aboard his lifeboat died was because of him! Master Chief sits on Truth, instantly flattening his face to the point it's size has no scientific name. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Yo Mama's so fat, that when she sat on a rainbow, skittles fell out! AHOHOHAHAAHHHAAHAOHAHAHAOHAOHAOHAHOAOHAHAHOAHOAHOOAAAHHAHAHAHALOLZ!!! Johnson: *Cough* SAY WHAT???!!! Truth: Oh shit not againnnnn... Johnson uses his Kamehameha and Gruntiness and his Uber pistol on Truth, blowing him to cinders, and continues to smoke his weed. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Gravemind's a dipshit, you know that? Master Chief: Relax, I'd rather not piss this thing off. Gravemind: YOU COMMIE BASTARD! Gravemind infects Truth, rapes him with his tentacle dicks, and consumes him. Master Chief: Man, that was HELLA nasty. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Screw you Gruntipedia. Pope Yapyap: WTF did you just say?!! Truth: He dares to question me! EXECUTE HIMM!!! Pope Yapyap: Hey Truth, why does every time you tell someone or something to be executed, why does it never happen? Truth: Um, for comedic purposes and so I would use the guys for my next jokes :) Pope Yapyap: Well, yeah, but still, YOU DISGRACED GRUNTIPEDIA! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED! Truth: AW FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- OH SH******************************************T! Pope Yapyap uses his Kamehameha and Gruntiness Uber vulture gunship at Truth, nuking him, making him fly 9999999999 miles per hour head over end until he slams into a Covenant Supercarrier. Truth: Owwwwww that's not cool. Supercarrier Pilot: Wow good job man for giving our ship a huge-ass hole in it. Supercarrier Shipmaster: Yeah dude, I recieved this from my birthday you Bitch-Ass-Nigga. Truth: Jesus Christ... ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Truth: Hey Kusov let's have a rap battle. J'Suz Kusov: Let's hope It ain't gonna be retarded as the last one with Haters okay? Truth: Sure! Every single Grunt, Jackoffz, Bravo-Kilos, Squidfaces, Intelligent Monkeys, AIDS, Four-runners, and everybody else gathers in to watch the rap battle. We are experiencing techical issues with this broadcast. We are sorry for the inconvenience. And by "technical difficulties" we mean Truth is actually just making a shitty joke and the rap battle never happened. _____________________________________________________________________________________________Truth: Hello Squidface. Elite: WTH did you just call me? Truth: Ummm... a Xenomorph! ROFL. Xenomorph (From Aliens vs. Predator): You're gonna pay for thatttttttttttttt.... Truth: 0H $H1T! The xenomorph then drinks some undistilled water and gets anal bleeding. Then he craps all over Truth's fancy italian shoes, melting them. Then Truth kills himself because he is a whiny little bitchsuckle. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ ﻿Truth: I hate star wars. EXCECUTE WOOKIEPIDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ﻿Truth: I hate metroid. EXCECUTE WIKITROID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ﻿Truth: I hate pokemon. EXCECUTE BUBLAPIDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ﻿Truth: I hate Chuck Norris. EXCECTE CHU-!!!!!!!!!!! Before Truth could continue, chuck norris comes out of nowhere and roundhouse kicks him, causing a huge explosion. Chuck Norris: you died a long time ago...and so did your jokes! johnson comes in Johnson: yo norris. imma black version of you.lets fight! Norris: oh yeah a man sneaks up behind chuck Johnson: Norris look out! chuck is suddently hit in the heat with a dos equis bottle, causing an even bigger explosion Johnson: you must be..........................THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The most interesting man in the world:I dont always drink beer, but when i do, i smash a dos equis bottle in Chuck Norris' head. stay grunty my friends. ﻿ Category:Shit people complain about